Living in the present

It seems like lately I've been living each day on a pendulem swinging from "is this poop filled-whiney-total dependence-I can't find a moment to my self even in the bathroom (as even now the baby is climbing on me)-stage ever going to end?" to the opposite side of "I can't believe how fast they are growing up--I don't want them to get more independent-I'm terrified of teenagers!" (And the baby is still climbing on me so I'm playing a game of fetch with the binki to try to get at least 5 words typed at a time. :)


Today was one of those toddler has poopy underwear at the same time the baby wakes up sad/grumpy from a nap kind of days. I spent a moment in the "WHY ME, WHY NOW, dark place of my mind and I wanted to just sit down and cry, but instead I buck up and take care of each child and then things calm down (as much as they can calm down for a 4 year old and 18 mo old). Good thing the baby likes to sit in the bath tub, even with no water in it:) And then I took a moment to realize that I did it. I got through it, and I'm still alive:)

How many times have the church leaders told us to "live in the present" Here's a quote I just love by President Thomas S. Monson:

"The past is behind, learn from it.
The future is ahead, prepare for it.
The present is here, live it."

What wisdom from a loving Prophet of God. I am pledging to live in the present, to enjoy my children in the moment, to live each day to the fullest. I have little control of the future, but as another new favorite quote says:

"Faith is not knowing what the future holds but knowing WHO holds the future." Don't know who said it, but it's good:)

And a third by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin:
"Come what may and Love it"

Now I don't think I'll ever learn to love poop, and I certainly hope a poopy underwear free future is coming soon, but the message is clear. Find Joy in the Journey, Men are that they might have Joy, Live life to the fullest, I can do hard things. Come what may and Love it. (I'm not sure why I keep capitalizing Love, but it just seems like it needs to be:)

I recently went through a major downer time of life. It lasted about a week, but could have really pulled me down for a LONG time. I am grateful for the loving council of my husband to read my patriarchal blessing. It reminded me of God's love for me and my responsibilites to be worthy of His help. And as Sister Julie B. Beck said in a recent fireside, "you can't do it without help!" I'm also grateful for an inspired talk at church that reminded me "Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side" And an inspired talk (General RS meeting) by an Apostle of the Lord to remind me (among other things--this talk was AMAZING) to "forget not" to be patient with myself, and that the Lord has not forgotten me. Thank you President Uchtdorf! Through many tears and many prayers, I finally found myself in a good place again. I'm still not the person I want to be, but I'm working on it. One step at a time, one day at a time. Line upon line. . . I'll get there!!

One last quote and then it's time to leave the blogging world and get back to reality, which right now is peaceful as the baby is sleeping and the 4 year old is playing nicely (even though we had a poopy underwear incident while I was typing this.) (Oh, yea, and this took me 3 days to complete:)

"There is no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one."

How will I be a good mom today?? I think I'll have to make that one of my next postings.